Mother of Two
And just like that, our whole lives changed! Our beautiful baby girl, Charlotte Elizabeth, was born Saturday morning, February 11th at 7:05 am. She was 7 pounds, 2 ounces of perfection and stole our hearts the minute we laid eyes on her. She came into the world easily and calmly, and her demeanor has been just that. She is so sweet and calm, which is a stark contrast to her three-year old brother. We have no idea how she sleeps through all of his dinosaur sounds and crashing toys!
As I write this, Charlotte is 11 days old and we are adjusting to being a family of four. Some moments it feels so easy and like I’ve been a mother of two forever, and other moments all I want to do is cry. I can honestly say that having a newborn has been “easier” this second time around- many things come naturally and Mike and I don’t have to stop and think about what we will do next. Our teamwork is also solid, and we know more of what to expect having a baby this second time. Thankfully, my recovery has been amazing with Charlotte (so unlike last time!) and I’ve been feeling pretty good. I have gotten a little ambitious and then have to remind myself to slow down.
One thing that I remembered clearly, but didn’t expect this time were the hormones. You know, the crazy-I-don’t-know-why-I’m-crying hormones. I remember those from the first two weeks after having Ben when I would cry in the closet, unable to explain it. I was surprised this time to feel the hormones coming on just as before, and that caught me off guard since everything else has come so naturally. Somewhere between 7 and 9 pm I feel the sudden urge to cry, and it’s usually over something small. I’m sure it’s a combination of pregnancy hormones, lack of sleep, and adjusting to a huge life change, but it’s still tough in the moment. I’m hoping that I only have a few days left of pregnancy hormones and I’ll start feeling more like myself again soon. I’m thankful for an understanding husband who listens to me and loves me.
Something I haven’t stopped thinking about since I became a mother of two is Ben: my firstborn. He holds such a special place in my heart, and I’m so aware of how this change affects him. He’s handled it all so well and seems to like Charlotte, holding her hand and checking on her throughout the day. I guess it was more guilt on my end- that I took away his title of “only child” and turned his world upside down. Mike and I have been so focused on him and trying to keep things normal for him. I got great advice from my friends to go with what the toddler wants, because he will remember and the baby won’t. So we’re working on that, within reason, and it’s making everything go much more smoothly.
My biggest takeaway since becoming a mother of two that is crystal clear is that time passes too quickly. Sometimes when I’m holding Charlotte my heart hurts when I look at Ben because he was my newborn baby. Now all I see is a little boy who is so independent and is over half the length of his twin-size bed. It makes me so sad to realize how much time has passed, but seeing him as a big brother has been so special and rewarding. I already love Charlotte so much, but it’s a funny feeling figuring out how to love two children with my whole heart. It really makes me more determined than ever to cherish every moment with my children and be thankful for every season in life. Motherhood is a trip.
So right now I’m giving myself and everyone in our household grace as we all adjust to this beautiful change. And I’m also spending countless hours staring at Charlotte and Ben, wondering how I got so lucky and thanking God for these two beautiful children.